Can We Turn Back Time?

If this was any normal day, I would've let It pass. But no. A few hours from today it would be Christmas. The season to share love, joy, and hope. 

And I feel bad knowing that I can't even call you, can't even speak to you, nor greet you a very merry Christmas. How did we become like this? I mean, I know I am to be blamed but I just don't know how we came to be like strangers on the same boat.

Do you not loathe this feeling? Isn't it too much to bear? Don't you find it suffocating?  I can't believe we turned out like this? Is it mainly my fault? If  you think so? Can't you tell it to me? Can't you blame me? Can't you curse me or do shout or any of that sort? Can't you? I honestly can handle that much better than you being silent all the time, crying silently all the time, letting me speak all the time, letting me rant on you all the time, letting me do what I want all the time. That would be so much easier for me if you would only do that. Atleast I'll know how you feel, what you feel, what you want to say. Not like this, me trying to read your mind everytime you look in vain. 

Dear I am no mindreader. I'm insensitive neither. I do feel you but I can't read what's going through your mind. 

You asked howcome I don't speak when I'm hurting, but I did not give any answer. I fear that you won't understand, and take it in a wrong way. I can't tell you I'm hurting for sure you would ask me why. How can I tell you when the reason has always been you. I am hurting because I know I am hurting you. I just can't possibly say that. 

So yeah, I am sorry for hurting the both of us. I don't want to do this either.
I'm sorry for making things complicated. For making this difficult and overly dramatic. 


I do hope you have a very merry Chrismas. I do hope you would call me co'z I can't. 
I love you friend. Always rememeber that.

</3. 

"Sometimes you have to distance yourself to others not because you don't love them, but because there are things you have to face yourself"