Can We Turn Back Time?

If this was any normal day, I would've let It pass. But no. A few hours from today it would be Christmas. The season to share love, joy, and hope. 

And I feel bad knowing that I can't even call you, can't even speak to you, nor greet you a very merry Christmas. How did we become like this? I mean, I know I am to be blamed but I just don't know how we came to be like strangers on the same boat.

Do you not loathe this feeling? Isn't it too much to bear? Don't you find it suffocating?  I can't believe we turned out like this? Is it mainly my fault? If  you think so? Can't you tell it to me? Can't you blame me? Can't you curse me or do shout or any of that sort? Can't you? I honestly can handle that much better than you being silent all the time, crying silently all the time, letting me speak all the time, letting me rant on you all the time, letting me do what I want all the time. That would be so much easier for me if you would only do that. Atleast I'll know how you feel, what you feel, what you want to say. Not like this, me trying to read your mind everytime you look in vain. 

Dear I am no mindreader. I'm insensitive neither. I do feel you but I can't read what's going through your mind. 

You asked howcome I don't speak when I'm hurting, but I did not give any answer. I fear that you won't understand, and take it in a wrong way. I can't tell you I'm hurting for sure you would ask me why. How can I tell you when the reason has always been you. I am hurting because I know I am hurting you. I just can't possibly say that. 

So yeah, I am sorry for hurting the both of us. I don't want to do this either.
I'm sorry for making things complicated. For making this difficult and overly dramatic. 


I do hope you have a very merry Chrismas. I do hope you would call me co'z I can't. 
I love you friend. Always rememeber that.

</3. 

"Sometimes you have to distance yourself to others not because you don't love them, but because there are things you have to face yourself"

What it Seems

Nothing's worst when you felt like crying and you don't even know why.

.

WE JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT SOMETIMES WE ARE THE ONE WHO needs to be OUT OF THE PICTURE.

It's Not The Same

I am here looking outside the window

letting myself to love this world’s beauty

trying to hide every single sorrow

uncertain how to and when to let go

These strange feelings the night has given me

kept me in wonder, till, I realized…

I keep missing the times that i should admit..

It’s not the same without you by my side…

Let Me Be

 

Let me cry even for awhile

For later I will fake a smile

Let me feel my emotions fly

For later I'll catch it and hide

Let me grieve for a little more

For my heart's beat has died before

Let me be Myself just today

For tomorrow I'll betray

oh please, pretty please

just once 'coz i will never be

The Way I Loved You

Loving you wasn't the easiest part of my life

yet leaving you is another..

Loving you was the most happiest moment I've had

yet leaving you would be the saddest..

Loving you every single day is the most painful days of my life

yet you never  took a glance of my feelings..

Loving you may be  the most foolish thing I've made

but that's the way i LoVed you...

The Hardest Thing in Life

I always wonder what is the most hardest thing in life....

I ask myself is it trying hard not to cry when you lost your favorite toy?

is it trying hard to be happy when your favorite dog die?

is it when you're trying to live your life when  you are abandoned by your own family...?

is it trying to forgive your bestfriend when s/he betrayed you?...

or..

is it when you're trying to move when  the person you love the most left you behind... hanging?

those were the questions that was raise in my head...

but now I understand.... that the hardest thing in life was the most simple things in people's eyes...

wanna know why???

try this....

live your life SIMPLY...

can you???

Officially Becoming a Fool

Since when did I become a fool??

wanting to see you... but can't even get near you..

wanting to hold you but can't even get to call your name..

wanting to embrace you but can't even hold you

wanting to be with you but all I can do is to took short glances of love for you..

can you see this... this happening to me... I'm officially becoming a fool....for you

you.. that can't even took a glance at my heart..

you who can't even feel the pain I'm going through...

and you who.. hurt me emotionally but yet i keep on and will keep on loving..

I'm officially a fool right now..