Give Your Heart a Break

Today is the second day of a brand new year. Funny how I feel sad and agitated all this time

Anyways I just wanted to let out everything as in everything I wanted to say that I've been keeping all this time. I decided to give my heart a break this year.

So here goes my pointless drama...

To God...

Thank You.

Thank you for a wonderful year. Though 2012 wasn't that easy, still thank you. By now I have found the people who are true to me. Thank you very much for giving me such wonderful people by my side. Though I've not been a very good person last year, you still blessed me with people who stood still by my side and never left me once. Wahahaha they even forgot to look after themselves just to attend to my needs. Thank you Lord God for letting me have them. I can't promise to keep them, but I do hope you will. Please take care of them for me.

Nevertheless, there are still things that I want to be thankful about but that's the biggest thing I wanted to be thankful for.

XD

To my wonderful friends...

Thank You.

For all the times that we've been there for each other.

Seeing you smile makes me smile, seeing you appreciate the things I did for you makes me glad, seeing your troubled face makes me think a lot. Seeing how bad your mood is I get irritated too. Syempre nakakahawa naman talaga ang mood di ba?

Thank you for taking a big chunk in my life. I know I've been telling this to you for who knows how many times but that's how grateful am. I know I wasn't a good friend at all. I've been immature, insensitive, indecisive, promise-breaker, and a whole lot more, but I thank you for still keeping me and for correcting my mistakes out of concern. Hehehehehe.:))) thank you for tolerating me.


To bucha, my dearest apo, you know how I love you right? If you don't feel that I care for you I am sorry. There are things I can't do with you any longer like we used to, before. And for that I am sorry again. Just remember that I love you always ok? You're sexy and you know it. XD

To DEARLIE, hey, I am sorry for being harsh on you hahahahaha. It's just that I have to be like that... Anyways you are wonderful, thanks for being around. I love you always. Enjoy life to the fullest dear.. Wahahahaahahahahaha and thanks for the times that you refuted me. I AM TELLING YOU IT HELPED A BIT IN CHANGING MY MIND SET!

To mamkim, my magandang anak, don't be too good always. It's good to be nice but to let people abuse your kindness is not a very good thing. Hahah but i am not saying na maging kasing sama mo ako... Hahahahahaha. Just look after yourself ok? I love you always. YOU ARE ALWAYS WONDERFUL AND STRONG.

To danice, how ecchie, WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I hope AND BELIEVE na ok na yung sa ating dalawa. Tae tol wahahahahahahahah tuwang tuwa ako nung pina hawak mo sa akin yung kamay mo noong Christmas party. XD.. Basta tol I love you... WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa.  aantayin ko yang pangako mong hanger.:*

To peach, jagi, oi babae wahahah a kahit bagong salta ka sa BSC mahal kita. XD. Keep doing what you love to do. Trust in yourself always ok...? Upakan kita pag Hindi. Look after yourself. I do hope you have a great time with bsc's company.xD. Have fun in life, stay strong and vibrant (oo commercial lang ng palmolive xD) keep up your attitude always.

To Baby Joy, betty, i really actually don't know what to say to you. You're very independent and self-reliant yet endearing. Mahal kita bitch! Don't hate nor blame your self for every failure that happened or may happen around you. Alam ko naman na wala kang pakielam sa nangyayare sa paligid mo in a sense na mabuti xD. keep calm and read BB okay? hahah jk basta no matter what happens wowae is here!!

 To Yurina, te kuri, I am not lying si tamia talaga kumanta ng officially missing you. Hahahah xD I love you and thanks for everything. Ikaw na palaging pina pranka ako pag Nagasabi ng kadramahan ko lalo na Kay tooooooot.. Wahahah Alam mo na YUN. XD salamat naitama na yung tornilyo ko sa ko kahit papaano. Gudluck sa Japan hayaan mo saglit lang tayung di magkikita!

To Caren, ano kailangan pa ba to? Hahaha. Basta tol hahHa eew.. Di ko masabi, basta ILY. XD . Kung ilalagay ko lahat ng ipagpapasalamat ko Sayo eh Baka ilang libro ang magawa ko kaya wag na lang. Basta salamat and stay healthy. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF OKAY? Hindi maganda yung palaging nakikinig, mamatay nalang ako wala ka pang sinasabi pano na yun? Joke. I Love You. Eto Lang men, "Words may sting but silence is what breaks the heart." learn to be vocal in every way possible.. it will help you in college.!

To Marie, baboy, ano ba sasabihin ko sayo? I love you but not as much as how FIFi loves you.xD I love you tol, salamat sa time sa pakikinig sa aking rantings. Salamat sa pagbabaon ng plastic. Hahahaha. Basta salamat. Mwahahahahahaha..:::***

To Alyssa, FIFi, hey fi! Thanks. Ikaw na very persistent. Kayo talaga ni Marie wahahaha. If not for you Baka namatay na ako kaka isip at sa pagiging malungkot xD... Sayang Lang epic fail ang suicidal attempt ko eh. Hahahahha. ;:)))) pero okay na din salamt fi.

To nanAy, salamat po nay. I love you. All the times na tinetext nyo ako, I have a big smile plastered on my face. Thanks for making me feel loved everytime. XD. Stay beautiful. And i hope na hindi ka iiyak ng hindi kaming mga anak mo ang kasama mo.

to those people mentioned above...

if not partly because of you di siguro ako makaka attend ng graduation... thank you guys for making me realize na kahit gaano pa karaming endings ang dumating sa buhay ko laging may bagong chapter na dadating... I hope na kasama kayo sa upcoming chapters pa ng buhay ko.
 and for letting me learn that not every people ay parehas. I have faith in you and I trust you... of course I LOVE YOU.

and lastly

I am sorry for causing such burdens to you guys.

now my faith in all of you is strengthened in a very huge manner, i actually never realize that you've been helping me in your own little ways... until now. ansama ko eh noh!

hahahahahaha


marami pa akong gustong sabihin sa inyo individually and i'll be sending it to you malamang individually... MAS MAHABA YUN! xD..
----

This year I will remove everything that pained me last year. I will leave everything that brought pain to me. I will try to heal this year and the next years that will be coming.

This year I will do what's the best for my uncertain heart.

In advance I am sorry if there would be changes... and thank you for the memories we will be making pa,..

MANY THINGS MAY CHANGE BUT I DO HOPE THE ONLY CHANGE THAT CAN OCCUR TO OUR FRIENDSHIP IS THAT IT WILL GET BETTER AND STRONGER IN THE UPCOMING YEARS...!!!

-----


"In life there will always be things that you will regret but is better to stay that way."

Idlemind

"I've always been afraid of losing people I love. Sometimes I wonder, is there anyone out there afraid to lose me?"

"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

"One best book is equal to hundred good friends, but one good friend is equal to a library."

"I get the best feeling in the world everytime you say hi and smile at me."

"It hurts so bad to be away from you."

"A bestfriend is someone who knows you're crazy and still loves you."

 "I miss you when something really good happens, because you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when somethimg is troubling me, because you're the only one whounderstands me so well. I miss ou when I laugh and cry, because I k ow that you're the one who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other for those were some of THE BEST MEMORABLE TIMES OF MY LIFE..."

"Sometimes you just need a good cry. Even if you don't know the reason why you'r crying." 

Great firends are hard to find, difficultto leave, impossible to forget.

A true friend is someone who never gets tired of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again. 

If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you nedd a friend, I'll just be me...

-- anonymous

Credit goes to the respectful owners of the following pictures; same  goes for the quotations.. 

Remedies

                           

• “And oh she had been broken. She hid it well, but Ross knew from personal experience that once you had put the pieces together, even though you might look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall”  ― Jodi Picoult, Second Glance

• “It's harder to heal than it is to kill.” ― Tamora Pierce

• “Imperfection is simply not a good enough excuse to have someone keep hurting you just because they feel like it.” ― Pandora Poikilos, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out

• “You know how I get angry sometimes? That's because it's the only way I can still feel. And I need to test myself, to make sure I'm really here.” ― Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home

• “Remember that grief is a necessary pain. It’s your only way to heal. To starve it will destroy you.”~The Grimoire” ― S. M. Boyce, Lichgates

• “I don’t want to be in pain anymore. I want to be done, to be left unburdened and naked, to tear the hurt off my body like layers of clothes. At the end of the trail I stop and bend forward, hands on my knees, to catch my breath. I’m not healed, but for this moment, I’m better.” ― Kerry Cohen, Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity

• “Healing wasn’t always the best thing. Sometimes a hole was better left open. Sometimes it healed too thick and too well and left separate pieces fused and incompetent. And it was harder to reopen after that.” ― Ann Brashares, The Last Summer

Irony

There are some wounds that can heal only by deepening them and making them worse.
-Auguste Villiers L'Isle-Adam

Away

“The wounds that never heal can only be mourned alone.” 
― James Frey, A Million Little Pieces

Is There Anyone Out There

You can say goodbye,

To all the things that you have ever known.

You can say goodbye,

And leave behind the life that you have grown.

What's the point?

You try to start from scratch, but get let down,

You can say goodbye, Just to realise there's no-one left around.

So what am I fighting for.

Tell me

Is there anybody out there,

Am I swimming through this empty sea alone,

Am I looking for an answer

Or am I trying to find a way to get back home.

Is there anybody out there, 

Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried,

I'm looking for an answer

And just trying to find a way to survive.

You can live or die,

Without the chance to find out what your worth,

You can live or die,

And never find the one that she'd deserve,

You can walk alone,

And live behind the shadows in your heart,

You can say goodbye

Or live and  find out you've been alone right from the start

So what am I fighting for.

Tell me

Is there anybody out there,

am I swimming through this empty sea alone,

Am I looking for an answer,

Or am I trying to find a way to get back home.

Is there anybody out there,

Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried, 

I am looking for an answer

And just trying to find a way to survive.

Never thought I would end up all alone,

Every day I am feeling further away from home,

I can't catch my breath, but I am holding on.

Is there anybody out there, 

is this the last time I have to say goodbye,

Am I staring at my future,

Is it time to take charge of my life,

Is there anybody out there

Am I swimming through this empty sea alone,

Am I looking for an answer,

or am I trying to find a way to get back home,

Is there anybody out there,

Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried,

I am looking for an answer,

And just trying to find a way to survive,

a way to survive, and I am holding on.

Is there anybody out there

Secondhand Serenade

Credits goes to:

these lyrics are submitted by bbQueen

these lyrics are last corrected by six7six

Secondhand Serenade

[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ]

--

I just can't fall asleep. There's just too much to think.

I NEED TO RANT!

----

"Me, myself, and I. Who knows the real me? I thought you knew? If you can't understand me, well then I'm sorry. I'm just not easy to get along with in the first place. I'm irrational, a sociable introvert if there is such, a b*tch who knows nothing but to inflict pain on others and an unthoughtful person who only thinks of herself."

-----

THAT WAS HER BEFORE.

Before  SHE met you, all of you. 

She was selfish, never considering what others think and feel. She play along with them, but stab them like a murderer once they turn their backs on her. Cursed them for breaking their promises. Hated them for letting her feel loved and secured but hurting and leaving her the moment She grew dependent on them. It was a harsh thing for someone whose still At the age of seven. I still rememeber when she happily celebrated her seventh birthday only to lose someone important after 2 months and another someone, who promised to stay with her throughout everything, after a year. She still waited though. Only to be disappointed after yet again, another year. 

At a very young age, pain became her 2nd bestfriend. At a very young age, she studied how to hurt others before she got hurt herself.

I still remember how She face the mirror every chance She get to practice how to smile and laugh like nothing's wrong. It was crazy, but helpful. No one noticed ow she faked her smile. She became the cheerful and playful person every schoolmates and teachers knew. She grew up deceiving herself and the people around her. Being friendly and all. Laughing around, fooling around, and doing her best at school. Spending her time inface with books just to free her mind whenever her little secret starts attacking.

But she was somewhat saved. Meeting two vibrant stars, which she can't remember how, she started breaking her walls one by one. Her smiles became genuine, her laugh resounded happily, her eyes started showing emotions. She once again came back 1/2 of her old self. 

And so her life goes on... 

Entering highschool was a different story, once again she started drifting somewhere, meeting other people, somewhat forgetting her stars. She joined a group but ended up getting dump. But she was fine. It was ok. 

She came back to her stars which at that time, have their own groups also. Nevertheless she was ok. Flying around in circles, going through various groups, spending time with other people. Just doing what a normal sociable person would do. 

Her life was in joy especially when her stars multiplied albeit the conflicts and misunderstandings. 

She learnt alot from those stars. She loves them more than anything. She treated them as family, she cared for them in whatever she knew she can.

But everything felt surreal.

Surely, nothing lasts forever.

Now, again, she felt alone. As much she hates it, her irrational side is taking over. Especially now, there are no excuses, they will be going on, facing different ways. She clearly hates it. Hates the fact that everything she worked hard for would go to waste. Her open secret would become her little secret again. She hates everything. 

How can she live without them? I know she wouldn't be able to handle a life without them. She swears that she would rather kill herself than spend a life away with them.

But that would be absurd. She knew that.

Killing isn't the only option.

There's one last option. Do it like how you did it before.

Hurt them before you get hurt.

Leave them before they broke their promises.

Give them up before they give up on you.

Simple. Live your life the way it was, Just like before.

If that's possible. Anyways, there's no option left for you. Either way you are going to get hurt. Just do what will make you feel better. Right?

FEEDYOURSELF NO MORE LIES. FACE IT. 

-----

"AND I THINK I'm gonna welcome it back sooner or later..."

----

~"nobody would understand you completely, you yourself can't understand what you're going through, at times

Irrationalism

I should probably be sleeping now.
It's past my bedtime, but I'm hungry. 
So of course I have to eat.

-----
I was wrong I know. But can you help it? Humans are born inline with sins.
I'm a human and it's only human to commit mistakes. 
"You have a choice" 
I honestly don't have a choice, I chose a wrong option before, complicating trivial things right now. I may have a choice but either choices will hurt the both of us. What more can I do? Sulk every now and then? Ignore and pass you out every minute? Treat you like some random stranger? 

Killing myself was a better option. But that would be to absurd. 

So before I hurt everyone else, this would be the last resort I have. The only option I have.

In advance I'm sorry.

~~~
It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm so blind or maybe we're the same
But either way I can't breathe
Either way I can't breathe

All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
We're better off this way

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
'Cause everything we've been through
It's everything about you

Seem to be a lie, a countless, twisted lie
That made me learn to hate you
I hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this wayWe're better off this way
[| From: http://www.elyrics.net |]

All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
We're better off this way, hey

And every, everything isn't only what it seems
So hope these words that you never told me
It's time to say goodbye, it's time to say goodbye
It's time to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong

Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Goodbye

Secondhand serenade

credits goes to:

� JOHN VESELY PUBLISHING;

Songwriters: Vesely, John Joseph;